#0 Behind the scenes

Before I start getting on to the “moving on” process, I probably should share a bit about where all these are coming from.

For someone who’s hoping to find that one true love someday, I am non-committal. Partly due to experiences within our family and within the fallen relationships of people close to me, and partly because I am obsessed with my dreams, career, and with finding a fairy-tale kind of love so much that I’m scared of being tied up to anyone too early. But I did have official relationships on top of all the flings and MUs. In fact, I had two.

This blog stems from the second relationship. Even if anniversaries creep me out like worms, I celebrated two with this second ex of mine. And during those times, I was happy. For the rest of my blog posts, let’s call him Matty.

I won’t indulge in the nitty-gritty. Let’s just say that after two full years and more than 2 months with Noah, we broke up. I was the one who initiated but he agreed. We just didn’t have much time for each other and during that time he was consecutively missing on important days of my life. But I loved him so much and sacrificed a lot just to be with him. It hurt.

After the breakup though, we continued to meet up and go out. Nothing much changed. Except that there is another guy who started getting close to me. Let’s call him Jake (yes, I watch Awkward). At first I just took advantage of the attention from him as it filled the space created by the breakup. But during that time he was flirting with another girl so I didn’t consider what we have as something serious. I still loved Matty.

About three months after our breakup, Matty’s bday drew near. We started losing communication, and I realized I didn’t want to lose him. So I decided to ask Jake to stop whatever it is we were doing. I think I hurt him, but well that’s another story. Unfortunately, when Matty finally answered my calls, he confessed that he already like another girl.

Dumped.

Right now, the anniversary of me-being-dumped-by-Matty is near. I am presently going out with Jake more seriously now but I couldn’t get myself to commit yet.

Just recently, I found out that Matty and his girl has been together for almost a year now as well. Apparently they became official a few days after that dreadful phone call.

And suddenly all these emotions swept through me, as if our breakup just happened yesterday.

So there it is, the reason behind this blog. To finally let go of my feelings for Matty, move on from the past we had, and prepare myself to be relationship-worthy by the time I am ready to commit again.

How about you, have you just had your break-up as well? I hope together, we find the strength to get through this and be happy.  And to start believing in love again.